Mar 24, 2009

The Fifth

"habang bata pa kayo, mag-anak na kayo"...

that's what her mother told me last week while we were having breakfast. lhen was already asleep at the time. she arrives home before me as her office is just 15 minutes away. muntik na akong mabilaukan. i glanced at her mother to see if she's joking. she's looking away but i didn't see any hint of smile on her lips. and it wasn't the first time that she mentioned it. and even if she's joking, i firmly believe that jokes are half-meant.

i understand that her mom is worried. lhen, being the yougest of two children, her mom (whom i fondly call "nanay") thinks that she'd grow old without anyone to take care of her. oh sure, she has a niece (her brother married, two years ago), but her mom thinks that it isn't enough. she hopes that we'd have a family of our own (complete with children) soon.

and i have nothing against it. i always said that i wanted to have children, at least one. but lhen wants three. now that the moment is here, i can't help but be anxious. of course, there are lots of things that has to be placed into consideration. first off, who will be gracious enough to provide sperm or father a child for a lesbian couple? i prefer artificial insemination but lhen wants it the natural way. we both have plenty of gay guy friends but i've asked around enough to be turned down often. i just don't know if the same goes with her. second, i don't think i'm prepared on the responsibility of taking care of another person full-time. although i have a total of 6 nephews and nieces, i have never baby sat to any of them for more than 30 minutes at the time. and although i love yuki to distraction, i don't want anything that has to do with him when he throws tantrum or begin crying. simply put, i'm not patient enough around children.

i'll be 30 come november. and the last time lhen and i talked about this, we want to invest two years in our relationship before starting a family. not bad, i think. i just hope her mom, won't rush to it.