Goal!

Had our third weekly assessment today. Nangamote ako sa pagsagot ng mga questions but I think I did well.

Most people by this time would be making their New Year's Resolution so I have made mine as well. Actually, it's not a New Year's Resolution. More of New Goals for the New Year and I intend to do eveything in my power para matupad ang lahat ng nasa listahan:

• Never, never learn how to smoke even if most of my officemates offer cigarette and are convincing me to try smoking.
• Get promoted within six months (getting promoted in lesser time is better).
• Never make life complicated by having a relationship with an officemate.
• Maintain my waistline at 27" (28" max).

By next New Year (looking forward agad, hehe), I'll be setting another goal for myself.

At the moment, what I look for is building new friendships and renewing old ties. I'm trying to build bridges with all my school chums and chilhood peers. Although, I'm not planning to have a relationship in the near future, my officemates has been teasing me to this certain girl who bore a slight resemblance to Barbie Almalbis (honestly, I find her cute). However, should I pursue the girl, not only would I be breaking my third goal but I would also become a direct rival of one of my peers (a guy who admitted having a crush on the same girl). In the meantime, I want to forget about the girl and focus on my work. Kakaririn ko na 'to!

What's With The Hair?

Just trying to compare my old hairstyle tsaka yung ngayon. Last week, I've decided to change my hairdo. I know it isn't much pero lots of people are telling me that I look better daw ngayon kesa dun sa dati. Hehe. What they don't know is that I've sported this hairstyle before nung nasa Grade 3 ako. Buti uso ang styling wax ngayon kasi dati mukha akong natipus. Ang problema, nagiging vain ako sa hairdo na ito. Nakakailang minuto ako sa salamin sa pag-aayos lang at kelangan I have a pocket mirror ready para makita ko if there's a hair out of place. Hay! The price of looking good...

CSR

So after over a week ng training as CSR, I've somehow come to understand kung ano ba talaga ang nangyayari sa mga taong ito. Hirap din mag-training kasi parang nag-aaral ka ulet, lalo na yung account na hahawakan ko eh wala naman talagang kinalaman sa course ko. Tsk!

Surprisingly, though, I'm starting to fall in love with the job and I plan to make a career out of it (that is, after I've mastered the application and all those things needed to make my job easier). I'm just thankful cause we have a trainer na masyadong matyaga magturo. As in, hindi napapagod mag-explain ng mag-explain at mag-ulit ng lessons namin.

As for my co-trainees, super mababait lahat sila! Hmn, dalawang classes kami na sabay nagti-train ngayon although naunang na-hire yung isang batch samen ng two weeks. Pero enjoy ako sa mga batchmates ko kasi karamihan samen mga musically inclined. Meron pa talagang tumutugtog sa banda (and you begin to wonder what they were doing working in a call center eh mga talented naman!)...Yung seatmate ko in particular is a girl drummer! Gosh! I always thought that girl drummers are hot and I told her so. Sabi nya, "so you think I'm hot?" I said, "yeah!" Sabay taas ng kamay at sabi "girl dummers rule!" Hehe. Dyahe lang kasi mahilig sila mag-videoke after ng lunchbreak at ngayon ko lang nakakahiyaan ang kumanta (o talagang ayaw ko ng kumanta?) kasi ba naman astig yung mga boses ng mga dyaskeng yun!

Next week will be a different schedule for us kasi we will be on the night towards the end of the week. Kelangan masanay na akong matulog during daytime para hindi ako aantok-antok sa gabi...May bali-balita na malaki daw ang site namin na pinapagawa sa Cubao complete with recreational facilities and plano daw gawan ng rooftop swimming pool! If this is true, plano ko i-maximize yung recreational facility para may iba akong pagka-abalahan bukod sa pag-inom ng alak. Hehe.

Thanks, Cousin...

So after ng masalimuot na weekend ko, I've learned na marami na pala talaga ako'ng friends! Hehe! Received plenty of text messages from people na hindi ko talaga ini-expect na magiging concern saken...Well, sa office kasi I'm considered "one of the boys" and nagiging ka-berks ko yung mga makukulit na guys dun. Imagine yung mga pa-macho na yun na nagti-text saken, asking me how I was. Somehow, nakaka-touch rin at nakakapag-pangiti saken.

Nag-out na rin ako sa cousin ko nung Saturday! Hehe! Ganito naging takbo ng conversation namin habang nasa cab kami (he on his way to Rockwell Tent and me going to Cubao)...

him: Ate, sino'ng kausap mo? Parang may kaaway ka, ah!
me: Wala.
him: Okay lang kung ayaw mo sabihin.
me: (after several minutes of silence) If I tell you, I would have to tell you everything...
him: If you can't tell me, then don't...
me: (hesitated a moment) Cuz, do you have any idea what I am?
him: Ate, I've in the call center industry for several years now. I see lots of different kinds of people and I understand them...I'm not judgmental so it's okay.
me: Okay, good... And do you have any idea that I had a g2g relationship before?
him: I 've heard rumors but I don't listen to them unless it came from straight from the horse's mouth...
me: Okay...

So I told him everything. Made me feel good. Even cried on his shoulder. Later that night, I received a text message from him which I really took to heart:

Sometimes, things don't work out the way you want them to no matter how
hard you've tried. Life is like the sea and you are the fisherman. Even the best
fisherman using the best bait can't catch a fish if the fish simply refuse to
bite. In other words, if it's not for you, then it's not for you. Don't force it
all up. Sometimes, you just have to let destiny take its course and accept the
sordid fact that, in life, some things are just not meant to be...But keep
sailing. The best is yet to come...

Naalala ko tuloy yung prayer na nabasa ko from an unknown author. I always remember it if things does not happen the way I want it. It says: "If you choose, O Lord, not to will my desires, it is only because You are teaching me to long for something better...You have never given me second-best..."

Messages

Just a few text messages I received today and my side comments:

I learned how to love without expecting anything in return. For a while, it
felt good but soon enough, I had to stop. Why? Because the more I love the
person, the more I lose myself. And the saddest part of it all is finding myself
again, when I already know that I can no longer feel "whole" because a part of
me went astray with the very person I love and have to forget...

I think the sad part is not finding yourself but losing yourself and in the process you lose your heart as well. And after a while, you begin to wonder whether you'll still be capable of loving another person again not because you lose trust in people but because your heart is still somewhere else...

Somebody once asked me, "how do you hold on to love?" I answered, "with
your hands wide open, your palms facing upward, your heart ready to let go and
let the other grow." And that somebody asked, "what if it hurts you?" I smiled
wistfully and said, "then it means you're doing it right".

Unconditional love?

Here's a sweet truth: someday, someone will walk into your life and make
you realize why it never worked out with anyone else...

*raised eyebrow* not at the moment, I guess.

Panalo itong text message na ito:

Alam mo naman kung ano'ng dapat mong gawin pero ayaw mo lang kasi natatakot
ka...di kaya?

*sigh*

A Letter

So you think this is such a bad year? Why? Coz you cried a lot? Coz you felt trapped, alone, lonely? Yes, you may be alone at the moment but you're definitely not lonely!

You hurt someone? You hurt her so bad that she had to get out of your life so she could forget you...but, hey, be thankful that you had the courage to admit the truth than to go on with the charade. A lot of people didn't have half the courage you had.

You did lost a lot this year but never think of them as losses. People are meant to be mobile. So don't be surprised if there are some who walk in and out of your life. Just be thankful you met them.

You might be thinking of someone at the moment. You might be confused with your feelings. You might get irritable of other people because of this confusion. You might solicit advice from other people whom you think could help you. But you know what? When the time comes for you to decide what to do about what you feel, it will be your decision and that will be final. Once you've made that decision, not even the president could mandate you to change it. Just follow your heart.

Life isn't fair and nothing is permanent. Learn to treat each person like a fragile glass. Hold them steadfastly but don't cling to them too tightly. Treasure each moment as if it were your last. Then, perhaps you'll be able to enjoy life and live it like the way you used to.