True?

Your Birthdate: November 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things. You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle. Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home. You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak. Your strength: Your intense optimism Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents Your power color: Jade Your power symbol: Flower Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Q&A2

I love answering slumbook questions like this one. Anyway, I can't think of any good topic to post at this moment so I might as well get this over and done with...Here it goes:

Best place to cry? In your room.
Missing someone right now? Yep, but I don't think she feels the same way.
The person/people you love the most? My family.
Tell us your dream last night... Didn't dream anything last night. I was so dead tired!
Ever hated someone so bad? Not that I recall.
The biggest lie you've heard? Wala pa naman.
Ever lied to someone you love the most? Does lying to my parents count?
What's the worst thing you've ever done? Saying something and not meaning it.
Wanna be someone else than yourself? No way!
Ever slapped someone? Not that I recall.
Last time you cried? About a week ago.
Biggest crush? Leila Barrios!
Last mall you went to? Megamall (Don't have a choice, I pass thru it everyday.)
Last memorable song you heard? "Paano" by Shamrock (an Apo Hiking Society original)
Last person that hates you? Jane, I think
Reasons why you hate someone? Liar, plastik, conceited
Biggest lie you said? I love you
What you want to say to someone you love? There are many things I should be thankful for and one of those was when I found you. In a way, you have helped me become who I am now. Whatever the future may bring, I want you to know that you have a part of my heart with you.
Where you at? 33rd floor, Tektite Building, Ortigas
Have you EVER failed a subject at school? Nope!
What's on your mind right now? Nothing. Just want to finish answering this Q&A...I take that back. Actually, I;m thinking of changing the title of this blog. Parang negative kasi ang dating ng current title, e.
Honestly, who are you chatting online with now? None.
What is it that you REALLY should be doing right now? Working
Have you brushed your teeth today? Duh! Of course!
Who are your best friends in the world? Ayet. Pia.
Honestly, who is the hottest person you know? Mary Ann Africano, (a friend, way back in college).
Honestly, are you a good friend? Ask them, not me.
Honestly, do u really think going to school is important? Of course naman!
Honestly, what are your dreams about mostly? Dark settings e. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.
Honestly, who/what makes you happy most of the time? When I see my nephew smiling.
Honestly, what are you so sad about right now? Haha! Meron ba?
Honestly, how old are you now? 26...I'll be 27 in November
Honestly, what song are you listening to right now? Office noise.
Honestly, who do you want to meet at this very moment? Big sis!
Honestly, where do you like to be kissed? Lips, of course!
Honestly, do you have a deadly disease? Duh! Nagkakasipon ako...deadly na ba yun???
Honestly, do you hate someone right now? Nope.
Honestly, who/what do you wanna hug right now? Malayo yung "who" e so just a big fluffy pillow will do.

alalang

Horoscope

Pag alang magawa sa office, usually nagba-browse lang ako sa internet. I got this one from my horoscope at Dogpile. Read on:

Unpleasant memories may be holding you back. Luckily, today you're able to find a way to let go of these relics and keep them in the past, where they can't affect you anymore. A new person on the scene can inspire you to see things in a novel way and move on. Suddenly the old wounds you were nursing don't hurt so badly anymore. You're thinking positively about a new relationship, probably because it's preparing you for a brighter future.

Now, I don't really believe in Horoscopes. Aside from being brought up in a Christian family, I find it absurd that we should entrust our future and decisions to the stars. But my Horoscope today, really uplift my spirits. Nyehehehe!

Q&A

I've seen this sa pinoyexchange. Since I don't like discussing my personal life sa forum, dito ko na lang ipo-posts yung sagot ko. Hehe...here it goes:

Longest relationship? four years and four months
Shortest relationship? two years
At what age did you find out you're into samesex relationship? 18 years old
How many people have broken up with you? Just one
How many times have you truly been in love? Just once
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you? Two
Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with? Yes
Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt? Yes...still hurts...
Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes
Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend? Yes!!!
Are you happy being single rather than being inrelationships? Right now, I'm trying to enjoy being single.
In the past 5 yrs have u ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend? Technically, no.
Have you ever been cheated on? Nope.
What is the important PART of being in a relationship? Being able to share your love.
What is the worst part of being in a relationship? Meron ba?
Worst relationship? None, so far.
What do u like most about your gf/bf or your special someone now? I'm officially single but if ever meron akong special someone right now, I would want to be able to talk to her about anything and everything under the sun.
Have you ever broken someone's heart? Yes.
Do you talk to any of your exes? I talk to both of them.
If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes,would you? My answer is definitely a "yes"!
Do you think any of your exes feel the same way? I don't know. Have to ask them first.
What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend? No ideals. What's important is I love her.
Have you dated people who were not good to you? No and I don't want to try.
Have you been in an abusive relationship? Abusive in what way?
Name your most memorable ex if you have had: Panda
Have you dated someone older than you? Not yet...wouldn't mind though (wag lang lola).
Younger? Yep.
What is one thing that all of your exes had incommon? Chinita and maputi.
Say, who are the top 3 most attractive ex thatyou have dated? Dalawa pa lang ex ko but they are both attractive.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over a someone or boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes and no. Depends, actually.
What do you most fight about? --
Believe in love at first sight? Nope. Attraction on first sight, perhaps...but not love.
Ever dated two people at once? Nope.
Ever been given a promise ring? Yes.
Ever been given an Engagement ring? Yes.
Do you want to get married? Same-sex? Yes.
Do you want kids? Yes.
If so, How many? One or two will do. But first, I have to find a donor...anyone interested???
Do you have something to say to any of your exes? Panda, I miss you!
Ever stolen someones boyfriend or girlfriend? Nope.
Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? Yeah...
Do you believe in true love? Yes
Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It's an understatement, actually.
Are you intimate with your bf/gf or special someone? I was.
What would make you leave your gf/bf now? --
What would you tell your gf/bf/someone special NOT to do? I'd tell her not to lie to me.
Any vices you're trying to quit? Why? Does drinking coffee counts? Hindi raw maganda sa health sabi ni Big Sis. ; )
Have you broken a promise? Why? Yeah. No details please.
Name your bestfriend? Marita. She died on 2004.
What's the most embarrassing moment in your life? Wearing a dress during college graduation. All my classmates teased me afterwards.
What would you tell your gf/bf/special someone at this very minute? If I had one right now, I'll tell her: just say you'll love me for the rest of my life
Pet peeve? Mga taong mayabang
Are you happy now? Not really.
If NO, why? Next question, please
Do you believe in SOULMATE? Yes!
What's your vanity? I'm not a vain person.
Are you inlove right now? Hmmm.

Goodbyes

Well, i was listening to Whitney's music this morning and I heard this song once again:

I Know Him So Well

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally

Perfect situations must go wrong

But this has never yet prevented me

From wanting far too much for far too long

Looking back, I could have done it differently

Won a few more moments, who can tell?

But it took time to understand the man

Now at least I know, I know him well

Wasn't it good, Wasn't it fine

Isn't it madness he can't be mine

But in the end, he needs a little more than before

Security, he needs his fantasy and freedom

I know him so well

No one in your life is with you constantly

No one is completely on your side

And though I move my world to be with him

Still the gap between us is too wide

Looking back, I could have played it differently

Learned about the man before I fell

But I was ever so much younger then

Now at least, I know, I know him well

Wasn't it good (oh so good), Wasn't it fine (so fine)

Isn't it madness he can't be mine

Didn't I know how it would go

If I knew from the start

Why am I falling apart

That song almost always makes me cry whenever I hear it. For one, the lyrics are too sad and it could happen to anyone you know. Hindi lang boyfriend or girlfriend, pwedeng sa friend or family. I was particularly hit by the two stanzas (naka-italics)...Haha! I guess, nagiging masyado na akong malulungkutin...
I've read two emails this morning. One made me somewhat happy, the other made me somewhat sad. I guess, you really can't have everything you want and try as you might to hold on to something (or someone, for that matter), may mga bagay talaga na dapat mong pakawalan...not because you want to but because you have to...

Lessons

For the past week, I have learned lots of lessons. Well, life itself is a continuous process of learning which means a person who thinks that he knows it all is more like a complete fool or is ready to die.

Let me just share to you the lessons I've learned:

Never expect too much from anyone. Take each person as they come but never expect anything from them. In fact, accept them as they are.

Live for the moment and enjoy life as it goes. Know that everything, happiness or loneliness, will pass away. Understand that nothing is constant. By doing this, you will learn to accept hurt and heartaches. Forget the hurt but remember the lessons you've learned from it.

Never wallow in your heartaches and never let such things bring you down. It's alright to cry but never dwell on those things. Remember that whatever it is that brings you unhappiness also brought you joy somehow.

Treasure all people that you've met no matter how short you've been with them or how little you knew about them. Sometimes, those people will help you get through a bad time than your long-time friends will.

Never aspire to become popular. Just be yourself and be as honest as you can towards other people. Remember that how you react on other people will reflect on how you interact with them. So be confident with yourself and never get intimidated with anyone.

Hurting

Heart Of Mine

one day, you mayfind true love that will last forever and ever
'till then you'll spend a lifetime wishing one together
you never thought she'd say goodbye
and you will never understand the reasons why

heart of mine, how can you keep from dying
stop reminiscin', who is she kissing
heart of mine, oh what's the use in tryin'
no one can mend you now

love plays cruel games you can't believe she's found another lover
does she miss me sometimes you just can't help but wonder
no you can't hold the hands of time
and you will always be the one she left behind

and you will always be the one she left behind
lalala...lalalala...no one can mend you now


To be honest, I always find this song absurd...sa tingin ko kasi wala namang puso na pwedeng makaramdam ng ganyan. I always thought that the heart is just another body organ and as such is still subject to what the brain dictates it to do. Kaya natatawa ako sa mga taong nagsasabi na hindi raw sila maka “move on” o masyadong iniisip yung sakit daw ng puso nila na idinulot ng ibang tao. Don't misunderstand me, it's not like I don't emphatize with them. I do. Kaso ang thinking ko, ang emotion pwede mong diktahan. Pwede mong sabihin o ikundisyon ang sarili mo na maging masaya o malungkot depende sa gusto mo.
I didn't know how wrong I was...Pwede mo lang palang masabi yung mga ganung bagay hangga't hindi mo pa nararamdaman kung papano talaga ang masaktan...
Kung sa pag-iyak, napakababaw ng luha ko. I cry over a silly movie or a heart-wrenching story from a novel. I cry when I see a friend crying or if I find myself in a very touching moment...but that's about it. Of all my twenty-six years here on earth, hindi pa ako umiyak ng dahil “heart broken” ako. Oh, of course I had my own share of relationships pero sa isang tao lang ako naging heavily involved, so to speak...I find it ironic that only the people we love are capable of hurting us so bad. In fact, I find it ironic that the word “heart” sounds-like “hurt”, much like “love” and “lust” are both one-syllable, four-letter words that begins with the letter “L”.
Mabalik tayo dun sa kanta na nasa taas... “heart of mine, how will you keep from dying”? How indeed?

@$$hole

Why would some people allow themselves to look like a complete fool? Reminds me of the song "I Started a Joke" by the Bee Gees...I didn't see that the joke was on me.

I think it's only fitting that I named this spot, "huge mistake"...And I call myself a sensible person at that??? I guess, I never did understood what sensible really means.

"can't believe that i'm the fool again,
i thought this love would never end...
how was i to know? you never told me..."

Sleepless

I just couldn't seem to get a good night's sleep for more than two weeks now. Perhaps I was thinking of so many things or maybe I am into what other's call "Quarter Life Crisis".

Hah! Quarter Life Crisis, indeed! For all I know, I'm just drinking too much strong coffee in the morning kaya hindi ko makuha ang tulog ko sa gabi...Yes, perhaps that's the reason!

Last night, I woke up again at past 12:00MN. It was the earliest . I normally wake up at around 1-2AM (normally...coz it's been that way for almost three weeks already).

I remained awake in my bed and stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. I didn't really thought of anything nor did I attempt to stand up. After a while, I changed position and closed my eyes in an attempt to catch sleep. It didn't work. In fact, it just made me think of things which I didn't want to think anymore.

At this point, I decided to stand up and I turned on the lights. I wanted to continue reading "A Time To Kill" but I couldn't seem to understand the words. After two chapters, I put the novel down and pulled my blanket. Suddenly, without warning, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, on to my hair and into my pillow.

Darn it! Is it possible to cry for no apparent reason? Or am I starting to be soft-hearted already? What was I really thinking of? Or should I ask who?

I think I quietly cried for about five minutes. There was a song that was playing in my head and I'm not sure if the song was what triggered the tears.

Mercifully, my eyes seemed to have grown weary of the tears. I felt my eyelids closing, slowly. It seemed like it has a life of it's own.

This should not go on. I must find a way to sleep...I must.

Slumbook

Everybody has experienced high school life. It is the time of your life in which you get to experience first crush, first love (pero yung first love ko, hindi ko na-experience nung high school although marami akong crush). It is the time of your life in which we get to value our friends more than most of our family since we get to spend more time with them and in school than at home.

For sure, most of us had experience at one time or another signing a Slumbook (may iba pang tawag dyan e, hindi ko lang alam kung ano)...I don't exactly know the reason why signing a slumbook is the “in” thing in high school (minsan kahit elementary students) but one thing is sure...if you hadn't experienced doing that in high school it's either (1) you're not popular or (2) you didn't have any friends.

Maraming klase ng slumbook. Merong nabibili sa National Bookstore...ito yung mga mamahalin na merong colorful designs and pages and bounded properly. I think ang pinakamalaking setback sa mga ganitong klase ng slumbook ay masyadong konti yung mga questions pagdating sa “up close and personal” section. Itong section na 'to kasi ang considered na pinaka-importante sa lahat since dito usually nare-reveal yung mga darkest secrets nung signee.

Kung wala kang pera pero super creative ka, pwede kang gumawa ng sarili mong slumbook na papipirmahan sa mga friends mo (ito yung ginawa ko, hehe). Ang advantage sa ganitong klase ng slumbook e pwede mong ipersonalize yung lahat ng questions pati lahat ng pages. Pati yung questions sa “up close and personal” section pwede mong gawing specific para kahit yung mga pinakatagong lihim nung signee e malalaman mo.

Kapag pumipirma sa slumbook, yung ibang magugulang mas pinipiling pumirma sa pinaka-last pages o sa hulihan nung slumbook. Advantageous nga naman kasi hindi mo na kelangang mag-worry na baka mabasa ng crush mo (kung sakaling hindi pa sya pumipirma) o ng gf/bf mo yung mga inner thoughts mo. Major turn off nga naman pag nakita nya yung “messages” part kung saan kelangang mag-leave ka ng message sa may-ari ng slumbook tapos ang mababasa nya e bali-baliko ang grammar at spelling mo. Hehe.

Sa ngayon, I think this sort of thing is losing it's allure (hindi ko na nga naririnig yung mga younger siblings ko talking about that) or becoming obsolete. What with Friendster, MySpace, Hi5 at kung anu-ano pang mga online community na pwedeng salihan. Mas madali nga naman pag sasali ka sa ganun at usually, hindi ka na mamomroblema sa mga papel na pwedeng mabasa ng mga kasambahay mo at pwede mo pang i-personalize ang home page mo (lagyan mo ng music o astigin na background).

Pero ang hindi ko malilimutan sa slumbook e yun ngang “up close and personal” section (o kung anuman ang tawag dun, nalimutan ko na e). Para sa akin, yun yung pinakamasarap sagutan kasi makikita mo dun yung mga pinaka-inosenteng meaning ng love, crush at kung anu-ano pa. Unfortunately, yung slumbook kong ginawa nung high school e itinapon ko na kaya hindi ko na ma-recall yung mga bagay na sinabi ko dun. Siguro kung magkakaroon ako ng chance na makasagot uli ng slumbook at this day and time, ganito ang magiging sagot ko sa “up close and personal” section:

Define Love:
Love is the most infinite feeling that anyone lucky enough would be able to experience.

Define Crush:
It's being attracted to someone else but not exactly falling in love with them.

Unforgettable date and time:
June 19, 2004 That's the time when my bestfriend died of childbirth (and yes, heterosexual sya)

Have you ever been in love?
I fell in love twice...

To whom?
Qualified pa ba ang secret dito? Shy sya e.

Where and when did you meet?
A long, long time ago...in a land not so far away...

What attracted you most? Eyes! Definitely the eyes!

Who is your crush?
Pwede rin bang secret na rin ang sagot dito? I know it's unfair but, oh well...

Describe your first kiss:
Very sloppy! But it was the best kiss I ever had. Hay! If given the chance, I would want to come back at that moment...

Likes:
Funny and intelligent people

Dislikes:
Mapagkunwari, mayabang

Worst thing about you:
I tend to forget I'm with someone especially when I'm reading a book.

Best thing about you:
thoughtful, sweet (sabi nya)

How do you see yourself five years from now?
I don't want to know. Maraming akong gusto e but i learned that no matter how perfect your plans are, meron pa ring mangyayari na hindi mo inaasahan then all of a sudden, all your plans would disappear...as of now, i just take each day as it comes.