Too Cold!!!

Sobrang ginaw nowadays! Halos one week akong may ubo at sipon dahil sa lintik na weather na 'to...and for the first time for as long as I can remember, as in angsama ng sipon ko with matching phlegm yung ubo ko. Nakakainis! As if may magagawa naman ako except magsuot ng jacket each time at magkumot ng makapal everytime na matutulog (yes, malamig kahit maaraw sa umaga!).
Finally, nagka-time din ako mag-upload ng pics...hay! Photos taken at Pia's hometown province in Aringay, La Union.

Sa bukid walang papel...

Buti mababaw yung ilog nung time na yan...inabutan kami ng bagyo after namin maligo...

'sup, man???

Si Melai at ako...mga diwata ng tubig...

Never Gone...

Antagal walang post...have been busy. I'm still on a rush and I'm currently contemplating leaving my present work. No, not contemplating but decided.

Many things to consider but I don't want to elaborate at this time. Many photos to upload but not this time.

Perhaps I'm beginning to rush (signs of mid-age anxiety?), but I've noticed that it's the only way that I could prosper. Hindi pwedeng magpatumpik-tumpik!

A Matter or Options

I can't understand why you'd have to choose between friends or lover...

I can't understand why you'd have to choose between family or lover...

I can't understand why you'd have to choose between lover or career...

Other people could only give advise and create options for you. At the end of the day, you will be the one who will do the choosing and it's your own counsel that you will follow. It doesn't matter which way you choose, what matters is if you're brave enough to stand by it.

To My Best Pal, On Your Birthday

Dude,

Another year added to your life. Hope everything's good. It was so nice seeing you again after several months. I must say, I dread going there especially with Yen in tow but to quote what my officemate often say, "I know where your heart is", so I guess I just pulled off enough courage to let her come with me without asking you first. I don't even know how you would react. I warned Yen that perhaps you'll strangle me once you saw her with me but as we all know, nothing of the kind has happened. You just sat there like a teen-aged schoolboy caught by his crush staring. That is the first time that I saw you smile again since you told me that you two had decided to part ways. Until last night, you continued to send message thanking me for what I'd done that I had to turn off my cp so that I could get some sleep (as you know, I only had two hours of sleep all day Saturday).

In a way, I'm just happy to know that somehow, once in life, I have made someone happy. I guess this is the one thing that I do best: making someone else happy, brightening someone else's day. Sometimes, I would give away happiness like Santa Claus (Christmas is just around the corner) that I often forget about myself. At times, I would also give away the very thing that makes me happy so that I could live in harmony with others. Always thinking about what the other person might feel...that has been my trade mark, then and now.

Don't think that I have no wish for you. I still hope all the best for you. Everyone deserves to be happy, especially you. If not with her, then perhaps, someday,someone else would find you (remember your message? "don't look for that special someone to come into your life rather be that special person in someone else's life"). By then, maybe...just maybe, you would truly be happy. Until then, know that I'm always here for you. At least, we both have found our one great love...a lot of people go thru life without finding them...

Something to Think About

Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them? When the moment you can't feel them under your fingertips, you miss them?

Have you ever wondered which hurts themost; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them. Words shrink things that seemed timeless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...but if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

Have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? Or fell for your best-friend in the entire world and then sat around and watched him/her fall for someone else? Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever...

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Unmerciful!

Drinking session sa umaga...

Yosi session sa gabi...(anliit ko!)

For One More Day

Done reading Mitch Albom's For One More Day...I must say, the guy really knows how to touch hearts. I've always been a Jeffrey Archer fan but reading Mitch Albom is like seeing yourself being scrutinized. He really does know how to get to the "deepest part of human emotion".

For One More Day happens, well, for one whole day. It's a story of Charles "Chick" Benetto who was a one-time baseball player. It's a story of a son longing for his father's approval and shying away from his mother's love. It's a story of a husband who having felt that he wasn't able to make his dream come true, became estranged to his wife. It's a story of a father who became a stranger even to his one and only child...but most of all, it's a family story. It's about family secrets best kept hidden to protect those you love. It's a story about regrets, forgiveness and acceptance. It's a story of loved ones who've been gone in our lives but has remained in our hearts.

Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more chance to make for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

- From For One More Day by Mitch Albom

Hearts Never Lie

Too good together to be so apart these days
And now more than ever
We need to talk face to face
We stopped moving forward
And now were some place else
But the more we fool each other
The less we fool ourselves

Cause our hearts never lie
They just feel the love
Try so hard to deny
Theres no reason to act like we dont care
When the truth is always there
Oh hearts never lie
Why should we

This whole thing is crazy
Building walls to keep out the pain
When theres no changing
Mistakes already made
So lets start all over
One emotion at a time
Beginning with this feeling
That weve never lost inside

Cause our hearts never lie
They just feel the love
Try so hard to deny
Theres no reason to act like we dont care
When the truth is always there
Oh hearts never lie
Why should we

Does the word love scare you away
Does forever seem too long to stay
Now its time we end this nowhere charade
And a real good place to start
Is to listen to your heart

Cause our hearts never lie
They just feel the love
Try so hard to deny
Theres no reason to act like we dont care
When the truth is always there
Oh hearts never lie
Why should we

Been having LSS for this song for the past two weeks. Had to look up for the lyrics coz the only part I knew by heart is the chorus...Got to watch "A Love Story" over the weekend. Nice movie. Of course, wala pa ring kupas si Aga and si Maricel. Hmn, heartbreaking yung mga moments but of course, I have a favorite line which is the exact opposite of what Redge has always believed in...

Hindi lahat ng makapagpapasaya sa atin ay tama. Lahat naman ng tama masakit sa una...

- Maricel Soriano as Joana, from A Love Story

Odds and Ends

ODDS

MIdnight coffees, birthday pizzas,
Accentuated English, dashing clothes,
Irate customers, FM in cabs,
So much money, so little time...

Late night parties, sunrise beer,
Crush on TL's, fight for appraisals,
Die-hard friendships, tears for love,
Nothing missing, just everything...

People call it Call Centers,
We call it LIFE!

- author unknown

--------------------------------

ENDS

I noticed, rampant ang odd relationships sa call centers. Pano ka ba naman makakaiwas kung wala kang choice kundi mga office mates mo rin na lagi mong kasama ang makaka-close mo...So, kadalasan, yung mga married na, nagkakaroon ng churva, at yung mga akala mo friends lang, mg-MU na pala...At eto ang napulot kong words of wisdom mula sa mga batchmates kong "faithful" sa mga misis nila: "asawa lang ang niloloko, hindi ang kabit"...makes sense, diba? :D

For You

For the one person who keeps me going...

From the Unknown

Whoever it was sending me text messages from mobile # 09053192669, this is the only message you sent me worth saving in my inbox:

Some things are not meant to be kept forever. You know you have to stop and let go when things aren't going right and everything you did is unappreciated. Remember, it is wiser to be alone but happy than be with somebody who do nothing while you do everything...

Despite disturbing my calls each night and waking me up thru my sleep each day, thanks for this. (I just hope I knew who you are.)

Bits and Pieces

Happy Birthday...I'll See You Soon...

Back to old school! Hay! I strongly believe that the one who made this questionnaire is a text addict...why else the text lingo? Tsk tsk! No wonder today's generation could hardly spell a proper word in English, much less construct correct grammar...Woe to you, I say!

anong nakasulat sa suot mong tshirt ngayon? Navy.
anong oras na? 1022H (avaya time)
ano favorite mong gawin pag bored? read, read and read more!
anong pinapakinggan mo ngayon? wala.
anong nararamdaman mo? i feel sick...may sipon ako, e.
may sumampal sayo ng walang reason? wala pa...and don't you dare!
anong itsura mo pag nalalasing? hehe...tulog, malamang.
anong balak mong gawin tomorrow? umuwi ng maaga. ala munang gimik.
umaakyat ka ba sa bubong ng bahay nyo? nung bata pa ako. pero ngayon hindi na.
marunong ka bang lumangoy? konti.
nakapunta ka na ba sa gateway mall? asus! tambayan ko kaya yun! nakakasawa na nga e...
kelan ka huling umiyak? two weeks ago.
nakasakay ka na ba ng cyclone loop sa star city? naman!

madalas ka bang makita sa baywalk? hindi.

city? nakakanta ka na ba sa videoke? ako pa!
may kagalit ka ba? ako wala. ewan ko sila kung galit sila saken.
anong katangian mo ang maipagmamalaki mo sa mga tao? i dunno.
makulet ka bang tao? medyo.
cno huli mong nktxt? ....
na-experience mo na ba na maglakad habang umuulan? oo, noh! lately napapadalas na naman nga e!
anong ginagawa mo ngaun? malamang sumasagot nito.
may naaalala k b ngayon? wala.
cnong huling nagtxt sayo? si jane.

Invasion of China

There are rumors flying all-over the call center industry that the Chinese are starting to train thoroughly on English language so as to compete with India and RP in this ever-growing industry.

Not quite sure if this is true but if it is, the RP government would surely lay down a more competitive offer in manpower to call center owners and CEO's. Definitely not a good idea for those in the call center industry (like me). Imagine competing with the Chinese? Of course, their manpower would definitely come cheaper. Just give them time to be more properly trained in English conversation and the Chinese would give us a run for our money.

Perhaps I should start learning Mandarin instead?

Make A Room Of My Own

By some mischief of Fate, we might only, truly fall in love
once. You know, that One Great Love old folks refer to. Many lovers may get into
our lives but there is only one person with that one smile, one kiss, one hug
and one moment that our hearts will never replace. That person usually, but
sadly, is the one that got away. That's why after all the chips are down, we
know...we just know, we'll never fall inlove that way again...

I thought I've gotten over. Wrong again, of course. How come after all that's been said and done, a single thought of you could still bring me to tears? I've tried covering it all with anger and hatred but none of it seem to stick. No matter how much I try to make myself believe that you're not worth it, still my heart says otherwise.

Of course, I did I now believe that love is not really an emotion. It's a decision. For when you decide to forget a person, you could do it. It should be our mind which should rule our heart, not the other way around. After all, heart is just one big muscle in our chest but the brain controls every part of our body. Am I wrong in believing it? Or perhaps our hearts does have a mind of its own?

Darn!

If I lose friends, it isn't because of lack of effort on my part.
If I don't see them often, it isn't because there is not enough time for me.
If I don't get in touch that much, it isn't because I lose the initiative to do so.

I've only broken up with a friend once.
It's been years since I last saw my college peers.
It's been a thousand days since I got in touch with the closest friend that I had in high school.

Whatever happens, I am assured of the knowledge that I may have no communication with most of them but I know deep in my heart that I will never lose the friendship we've made.

Here's a toast to my friends...wherever they are. Miss you, guys!

Born To Love You

You walk into my life

And change the balance of my days

With your eyes you say

I am yours and you are mine

But still something's very wrong

No I can't just go along

Though you want to stay

I must find a reason to delay

We're not the same

You play a game I know

But if I keep my feelings strong

I'll find the song you sing

Though i can tell

We're worlds apart and in my heart it's clear

That Love has found a cloudy day

I'm here to say that I was born to love you

Such a lovely face

With a warm and tender smile

Though I want you so

Something deep inside keeps saying

Don't trust your heart this time

Could my mind be playing games

Am I so betrayed

That my heart and mind can never be the same?

Fourth of July

Advantage of working in a call center: you get to enjoy all US holidays...

Disadvantage: can't go out with friends because they have work while you stay at home to pass the holiday...

Hmp! Kainis!!!

Pig Out!!!

hindi silhoutte yan...(photo taken infront of APAC-Cubao)

During one of these long discussions over breakfast, a friend made this comment: A person never really change. Whoever we are before is still the same person that we are now. It is the circumstances where we find ourselves into which forces us to react in such a way that people we know would think we've changed.

Breakfast at Seafood Island...

Breakfast buffet at Paolo's...

At a side road grill in Laguna...

I hate the rainy season. I hate the feeling of getting wet. I don't like having colds and flu...But most of all, I hate being alone in the cold raid coz it reinforces the loneliness...

However, now that I've started working nights, I began to pray for the rain specially in the morning. Anghirap kasi matulog sa umaga sa sobrang alinsangan ng panahon!!!

A Summer, A Sweep and A Song

Photos from Puerto Galera (May 19-21, '07)

I have more than enough reason to smile these days. What with my favorite team, sweeping the Cleveland Cavaliers on the NBA Finals (hehe). If I had placed a wager for each game they've won, I must have plenty of money by now. But then, I ws never a betting person...




I have always fancied myself as a person whose inlove with love songs. But this one, I think got away from me. Our operations manager has mentioned this song to me but I cannot recall it. When I finally heard the song, I could hardly believe the lyrics. (Naka-relate ako! Hehe!)

What Might Have Been

by Lou Pardini

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I'm watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can't forget
Your mem'ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been
Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

I want you to know
My heart will show that I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been
I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we've got love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I'm wondering what might have been
We're gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been.

The Gospel According to Redge

I'm back on planet earth! Finally, natupad din ang wish ko na makapag-beach ngayong summer...

This entry is actually a tribute of some sort to the only guy whom I consider my closest friend right now...I'll just share his words of wisdom kasi...wala lang. Natutuwa lang ako sa kanya because I never thought that I'd ever connect with a straight guy. But with Redge, I like his frankness, candidness, humor and honesty (kung naging babae 'to malamang na-fall na ako sa badet na yun). Anyway, para sa'yo 'to, dude!

Don't slouch! Never put your head down when you're walking. Keep your chin up, stomach in, chest out...You'll look timid and shy when you do otherwise. Besides, it doesn't look good.

Hindi naman totoong nalilimutan mo ang mahal mo sa pagdaan ng panahon. Hindi totoong napaghihilom ng panahon ang sugat sa puso mo. Nasasanay ka lang sa sakit, kaya naiinda mo na.

Kahit hindi tama ang ginagawa mo, basta't masaya ka, go for it! Ang pangit yung mali na nga ang ginagawa mo, tapos, hindi ka pa masaya...

Will be posting pics next time...

Eleksyon 2007

Call me idealistic or patriotic or whatever...pero old-fashioned pa rin ako pagdating sa exercising my right to vote. Thus, after my shift on Saturday morning (with a stopover sa birthday party ng officemate ko sa Project 8), I went home to Caloocan wherein I'm a registered voter. Kakaboto ko lang ngayon at imagine all pains a voter must go thru para lang sa "right" na yan! Hmp! Dapat ang mga kandidato ay tiyakin na kumportable ang mga botante pag ganitong eleksyon. I only elected six senators (karamihan mga bagito) at iniwasan ko yung mga galing sa kongreso na wala namang ginawa sa Mababang Kapulungan kundi mang-akusa ng kung sinu-sino at pumutak ng pumutak laban sa Administrasyon...Don't get me wrong, I'm not pro-administration. Pero naniniwala ako na ang kongresista at senador ay inihalal para gumawa ng batas. Hindi para mag-imbestiga ng anomalya...Let the PNP and NBI do that...

Anyway, apart from voting, I had a good weekend with my family. I baby sat for my favorite nephew; I watched the Game 3 of Round 2 NBA Playoffs between the Spurs and the Suns (which the Spurs won, kaya abot-tenga ang ngiti ko ngayon); I watched a movie marathon with my favorite cousin (we watched Pumpkinhead which I found boring kaya hindi namin tinapos; The Covenant na napanood ko sa sine last year; and Eragon which I find okay naman pala although I didn't bother to watch it on the big screen).

Heard that Ayala Trinoma is opening this week. In fact, dun ang premier ng Shrek 3...hmmn, better check it out before others do...Hehe!

Random Thoughts

Never allow yourself to grow too close to anyone...In doing so, you are only opening yourself to being hurt.

Be lavish on praise; be gentle in criticism.

Never change yourself just to please other people. It's better to be yourself and be content than to let other people take control of your life.

Just shrug off other people's negative opinion about you. Afterall, you can't please everybody. As long as you're not hurting anyone, do what you will and let others do the same.

Do not bear grudges. Let them bear their own grudge but cast yours aside. It will only slow you down.

When you're down, there is no other way to go but up.

On Special Friendships, MU's and Pseudo Relationships

Just this week, I learned from a guy friend that he has finally decided to end a two-year "friendship" with a girl with whom he has exclusively dating. The reason? The girl had just recently committed herself into a formal relationship...with another guy. My friend of course was completely devastated saying that he never learned about the girl having a boyfriend already. Kung hindi pa sila nagpunta sa isang despidida party nung barkada nung girl, hindi nya pa malalaman na may boyfriend na yung isa. He never got the chance to ask the girl about it coz he stopped communicating with her upon learning of the situation.

Nung tinanong ko naman sya kung sino sa kanilang dalawa ang nag-decide that they should be on that kind of set up, he said, he was the one who made that option. During that time, he said, he still love the mother of his child. So I told him:

'Tol, don't you think it's somehow your fault why you are in that
kind of situation now? Don't you think she got tired of waiting for you to make
up your mind when to take your friendship to the next level? Don't think that
she has no intention to tell you about her recent commitment. Perhaps, she does,
but other people got to you first before she did. You were caught off guard and
you didn't know how to react. And I believe that is the reason why you're
hurting..you were blind-sided. It would have been less painful if you got the
news from her first than from a third party. Plus, you were caught unaware. Ni hindi nya nabanggit na merong nanliligaw sa kanya eh alangan namang basta
nya na lang sinagot yung guy di ba?

The thing is he never realized the extent of emotional investment that he had with girl until just now. He thought that he could put it aside and just be content with the kind of relationship that they had...na parang sila pero hindi naman.

Personally, I never favored pseudo relationship although I don't condemn people who are into it. I strongly believe that if two people are committed enough to spend too much time together, I think it would be better for them to officially commit themselves especially if they're both free. However, should you find yourself into that kind of situation, it would be safer for you to never allow yourself to fall too hard. Coz you might find that there is nobody there to break your fall...

My Spurs

I've been a fan of the San Antonio Spurs since 1999 when I saw them win against the New York Knicks for their first ever NBA Championship title. Since then I have never faltered with my love for them.

There are of course lots of people commenting that the Spurs have the most boring type of play in the NBA. They're not an offensive-minded team but I liked the way they downplay their winnings. They weren't the type of team that has lots of loud players. I like the team's character most of all. With this team, parang wala atang maere. The players listen to Greg Poppovich. No wonder he has brought the team into this stature so far.

As long as they have # 21 as the team's cornerstone, I don't think I'd switch teams. No matter how many new flashy players that gets drafted each year, I'd still look for TD as the most unselfish player I know. It isn't surprisin, though. He had David Robinson to look up to during his early years in the NBA.

Photographs ulet

Si Kaye...ala lang. Cute ngumiti...

Drew and me during our last week in Libis...(Hindi naman kami parang mag-syota dito ano?)

JM, Drew and Me at the Work Force area in APAC's new site in Cubao. (Angas noh? Parang platform sa Star Trek...Hehe!)

=====================

My thoughts this past week:

If saying "I love you" will make you vulnerable, saying "I love you, too" is another way of telling that you're grateful that another person has seen you thru your imperfections...

Humanist daw?!?

The last two sentences are so true...

I took the "The Advice Giver" quiz on gURL.com
		Your advice-giving style seems to be like Carl Roger's Humanist Therapy, basically the "unconditional love" approach. If you believe in offering unwavering support to friends in need, no matter what the issue, then you are a textbook humanist. Read more... What kind of advice giver are you?

Pics Lang

Marose, Me, JM (gorgeous) and Milca (my little sis)

Marose, Drew, Chenggay (kahit kelan kwela talaga 'to!), Me and Lee

The Journey

Half the world is sleeping, half the world's awake
half can hear their hearts beat, half just hear them break
I am but a traveler, in most every way
Ask me what you want...to know

What a journey it has been and the end is not in sight
But the stars are out tonight and they're bound to guide my way
When they're shining on my lifeI can see a better day
I won't let the darkness in, what a journey it has been.

I have been to sorrow, I have been to bliss
Where I'll be tomorrow, I can only guess
Through the darkest desert, through the deepest snow,
Forward always forward, I go...

What a journey it has been and the end is not in sight
But the stars are out tonight and they're bound to guide my way
When they're shining on my life, I can see a better day
I won't let the darkness in, what a journey it has been...

Forward, always forward...Onward, always up...
Catching every drop of hope in my empty cup

What a journey it has been and the end is not in sight
But the stars are out tonight and they're bound to guide my way
When they're shining on my life, I can see a better day
I won't let the darkness in, what a journey it has been...

What a journey it has been

Beginnings

Bro, you're journey thru life has just began. Remember that graduation is not an ending but a beginning of a new journey. As another chapter of your life has ended, a new one will begin. I wish you the best. I'm proud of you!

Endings

Tita, wherever you are now, be rest assured that you're children will be well taken care of. I know you are proud of how you're eldest son is handling the situation they are in right now. He has matured beyond his years and he is stronger than most people I know. Whatever happens, we will always be here for them. Bon voyage and till we meet again...

Drinking Buddies

Officially, wala kaming picture na sama-sama pero wala pa rin kaming picture na kinunan na hindi namin kaharap ang San Mig Light...

300

Spartans, ready your breakfast and eat hearty. For tonight, we dine in hell!

Wala lang. This is just so everyone knows that I've already watched 300. Hehe! Nice movie! Setting aside the flesh galore and all that gore, I think it does have its merits against other epic movies. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit...bakit...Bakit anggaganda ng katawan ng 300 warriors ni King Leonidas??? At bukod pa doon, angguguwapo nila! Tsk, tsk! Feeling ko tuloy for a while, gusto kong magpaka-bading for them! Hay!!! And in contrast naman sa army ni King Xerxes (na super panget at mga nubita pa) clearly they are no match for them. I'm just wondering if the Xerxes mentioned in the movie is the same Xerxes who was mentioned in the Bible who became the husband of Queen Esther who apparently saved the Jews from annihilation...Hmn, why bother ba? It's just a movie and for that, I should be giving the lessons I learned from it:

1. Never fight a native in their own territory because they know the terrain and the lay of the land and you might end up making a fool of yourself.
2. Do not let your enemy pick the field of battle unless you are prepared for war. Remember "home court advantage".
3. The age old adage "never underestimate your enemy" still applies today as it was before.

Talking about another topic, a friend and an officemate had said this, over a drinking session yesterday...

Having an affair with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you had sex with
the person or you've become intimate with them. If you know that someone likes
you and you've somehow reciprocated their feelings, then you've had an affair
with that person. It could be a word, a stare, a touch, or a gesture. It doesn't
matter how fleeting the moment was, what matters is that you've given a moment
of your time for that person. Having a relationship or having an affair is just
a title. And titles do not matter.

Napaisip tuloy ako dun...

Sometimes They Come Back

There are places I remember all my life
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remains
Although I'll never ever lose affection
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I love them all...

Whenever someone related or close to me passes away, I can't help but be a little nostalgic about certain things in the past. Being an emotional and sentimental person that I am, I can't possibly avoid these feeling of reminiscing the past particularly when I come back at certain place or hear a certain song. There are certain songs that I could relate to and it still triggers memories of people who've become a part of my life. And although I know that these songs weren't composed or sung by me, I still dedicate some of it (in whole or in part) to those people.

In life, I learned that there may be some people who've become a part of your past from long ago but there will come a time that you will meet them again. Depending on what kind of separation you had with that person, will determine what will be your reaction when you see them again. I'm not a perfect person. And although I've been hurt by people, I admit that I have also hurt someone or some people from my past. If given the chance, I still want to see them again so I could apologize for the way I treated them. As for those who have hurt me, I wish them well and hope that if we meet again, it will be in a better circumstance than from the way we've separated.

Life is continuous process. There is no such person who gets stuck up in a moment. No matter how happy you are or how badly you got hurt, you have to move on. Everything in life is so fleeting that whatever you have right now may not be with you the next moment. I've read somewhere that when a person gets hurt, he will need a time or period to grieve before the soul could go on to the next phase. In grieving, it still depends on the person when he decides to himself to stop grieving and move on. So no matter how short or how long the grieving period depends entirely to you. I think it is the same with happiness...it depends on you how long you could make it last.

My favorite cousin's advice: "go on and cry. give yourself a week. yes, it will hurt for now but after that move on. when everything's in the past, you will reminisce that day and you will only laugh about it thinking how stupid you looked crying like a fool over a silly matter which isn't worth a tear for..." I hope I could say the same to you, cuz. Just be strong and know that no matter what happens, I'll be here.

Passing Thoughts...

How time flies! Only yesterday I was dweedling my thumbs thru the sound of Christmas songs and now it is the month of March already...month of graduation, sad goodbyes and new beginnings! It's actually, my third month with APAC already and we are preparing to transfer to Cubao in the middle of this month. Of course, everyone's excited since it will be our official home and lots of us are already scouting for gimmick places around Cubao.

As for me, I haven't got enough time to think about myself lately. I'm more focused with my work and I am still a passive smoker (although most of my officemates are convincing me to smoke) and still a passive admirer. I have come to terms with some emotional difficulties as of late but none of it is so distracting that it could affect my work. Still aiming and hoping for the best for myself, of course.

Message: 45 TRUTHS

TODAY DID YOU...
Talk to the boy/girl you like/love? Nope.
Realized anything new? Yeah, I realized that there is a huge diferrence between giving up and letting go...
Talk to an ex? Nope.
Miss someone? Yeah.

LAST PERSON WHO...
Slept in your bed? My nephew, Yuki.
That saw/heard u cry? Haidee.
You went to the movies with? Last movie I went to, I went alone.
You said "I love you" to? My team leader.
Who made you laugh? Shey.
Said they loved you? ???
Called you in the middle of the night? My cousin.
You have a crush on? Kay.

JUST PLAIN QUESTIONS:
What book are you reading now? Cry to Heaven by Anne Rice.
Best feeling in the world? Contentment.
Favorite location? Basta sa beach.
What are you most scared of right now? That I'd lose focus again and lose the chance to redeem myself.
When do you want to get married? Not in the near future...
Who do you really hate? Nobody.
Does anyone really hate you? I don't know and honestly, I don't care!
Do you like being around people? Yeah.
Are you lonely right now? Nope.
Song stuck in your head right now? If Tomorrow Never Comes by Ronan Keating.
Been on radio or TV? Yes, just once...
Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Nope.
How many beds did you lay in yesterday? Just one.
What kind of shirt are you wearing right now? Gray crew-neck shirt with a sailing print at the back.
How much cash do you have right now? P230.00
Who got you to join friendster? A college friend.
What did you have for dinner last night? Pinakbet and rice.
Do you have plants in your room? No! Why should I?
Does anything hurt on your body right now? I have a bruise in my right knee and I don't know how it got there.
When was your last cab ride? Yesterday with Nimfa, Chenggay, JM and Drew.
Would you rather be told the truth that could potentially destroy your life and change everything you know, or a lie that would save you from the truth? Before, I always say "What you don't know won't hurt you"...As time goes by, I realized how important it is to tell the truth to people and be honest with them no matter how painful it would be for them. It would be more unfair for the person if you go on fooling them by continuously telling them a lie than to tell them the painful truth. Yes, it might hurt them but at least, you would leave them with their dignity intact than to fool them with lies.

Valentine's

Another one of the most commercialized occasions for lovers and those inlove. I think I'd rather talk about something else than talk about Valentine's. Too much has been put to it already and I'm growing quite sick and tired of it. Same as what I feel whenever Christmas and New Year comes.

Well, I've read an interesting passage from Anne Rice which says:

When we are weary, we speak lovingly of dreams as if they embodied our true
desires - what we would have when that which we do have so
sorely dissapoints us.

Interesting comment from a gothic novelist...So what does it mean? That dreams are what we would rather have instead what we do have? That dreams are what feeds malcontent?

Or are dreams a product of what we want to become, of things we long for yet we cannot have? Or is it the beacon of hope which makes us strive harder?

Saturday Club

A friend asked me, if given the chance, who would you pick: (1) a person whose wiiling to leave her current partner because of you (2) a person who'd leave her family (meaning, husband and child) because of you or (3) a person who prioritizes her career more than you...

My answer: I'd choose person number three. Simply because you are not competing with a living, breathing person unlike the other two where you will always have doubts. It isn't like you don't trust her but the past will always haunt you and you would always think that, if she was able to leave her partner or husband because of you, what makes you think she won't leave you for another person in the future? At least, with a career woman, you only have to compete with her job. But I guess some people would want to have another person as a rival than to compete with a faceless, breathless thug...

Ranting On

Dude, I had this feeling since we last talked that you wanted to put the blame on me for what happened between you and your girlfriend. I am, of course, upset about it but I want you to know that it's so unfair for you to blame me over what happened.

If your girlfriend has decided to end your relationship with you let me tell you that I had convinced her otherwise. She is, of course, saying that her decision is partly in connection of what I told to her brother. I already explained to her my side of things and I knew that she is inclined to believe her brother. Afterall, they're family. What I can't accept is for you to blame me as well over what happened. Didn't you realize that it's such an insignificant reason to break up with you? I hate to be blunt, but didn't you realize that perhaps it's just a reason she gave simply because she never really wanted to continue her relationship with you in the first place? As what my officemate said when I sought advice, "stop looking for reason why your friend's girlfriend decided to leave her. There is no reason simply because there isn't. It's human nature to go deeper and seek answers because we want to make justification but, the only reason I could think of, is your friend's girlfriend has long contemplated of leaving her. It's just that she can't find a reason to do so. When the incident with you happened, she made it an excuse to get off the relationship. It just so happened that you were in the line of fire, thus, the blame was put at your door. But don't blame yourself because of it."

I hope in time, you'll realize that she doesn't love you that much. If she loves you, she won't walk away no matter how many bad things she hear and no matter who say it. Remember, bro, "Kung gusto, may paraan. Kung ayaw, may dahilan." But please, don't believe that her reason to leave you is because of what I said. It's absurd. She may have a deeper reason and that isn't in my hands anymore.

Academy Bay Grad

"A rowdy bunch"...

That's what our client has called our batch when she made a short speech during our A-Bay Graduation. In fact, we were so noisy during our two-week A-bay that I bet the client (and the other agents) must have complained about the noises we make. Hehe! Well, what can you expect of a group composed mainly of boys? I once told a team mate that there is no such thing as "boy" or "girl" in our batch...all of us are asexual. I wonder what she make of it?

Reminders

Falling inlove is never a choice-always by chance; staying inlove is never a chance-always by choice; and falling out of love is never a choice-it's always a decision (or lust with another?!).

When you love never stick only to what your heart feels. Sometimes using your brain is a necessity. Never use your eyes to cry for the one who fooled you instead use it to search for the right one. Don't be scared of breaking up. Keeping a relationship with a selfish partner is scarier. Love one who will fight for you and bravely face each and every consequence. Love the one who will accept and love you more despite great mistakes you did. Love the one who holds on. Someone who would never let the feelings be gone. Love is a gift and not an obligation.

Leaving someone behind means you only want the best for them even if it means swallowing the sad reality that the best isn't just you...

Wave Four

This is what happens when you put together a group of young people (average age is 25 years old). Most of us makulit and since most of us are boys...most of us ay bastos...Hehe!

Back To Q&A

What makes a person cheat? There are three reasons: (1) opportunity (2) opportunity (3) opportunity
Have you ever felt attracted to or flirted with someone who had a gf? Once. When I saw the gf of a current officemate (she bears a strong resemblance to Sandara Park only she isn't anorexic).
Your relationship resolution? Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Are you still friends with your exes? Ehem...
Can you date your friends' ex? Hell, NO!
What if your friends' ex hits on you? I'd simply turn her down...
Is there anything you're not good at? Sports
Would dating during cool-off constitute cheating? First, I don't believe in "cool off"...So I don't really care about dating other people when you're in this stage.
Where's the wackiest place you've ever had sex in '06? Hmn...
What turns you off? Bad attitude.
What turns you on? Strong personality and intelligence.
Tend to get jealous? Not really. I'm not a jealous person, to begin with.
I hate it when...when I see other people getting pissed off over small things. I find it immature.
What's the OST of your life? *shrugs*
Are you happy now? Contented is the more exact word...

___________________

I've an LSS for this song.

Moving Along

Hah! My patience finally paid off on this one! My first post for the New Year!

Hmn, after a week of working in a night shift, I've found out that it's not so tiring after all...In fact, I find it more enjoyable than working in day time. The only disadvantage is my reduced social life which has become limited among my officemates. No regrets though. I find my present work as fulfilling as when I was a private eye. I'm actually, looking forward to our graduation from training...Oh, I do have one regret...not being able to watch Anne Curtis in Maging Sino Ka Man and Janelle in Princess Hours.

I've recently received a text message from a friend telling me about her relationship problem. (Nothing new about that. They always fight over everything and nothing, then get back together eventually.) She even forwarded text message from her girlfriend which somehow gave me the impression that they've been fighting thru text...Gee, I never could understand how some people could get into fighting thru text messages. I find it peculiar, absurd even. Yep! Call me an old-fashioned, sentimental fool but I still believe that problems should be talked over personally, especially for those people involved in a relationship. I find it even more ingratiating for some people who have the nerve to break off thru text message! Those kind of people have no respect for others and doesn't consider their partner's feelings...In the five years that I've been in the private investigation business, I've learned that 90% of cases where errant spouses are found having an affair is thru text message. There are, of course, plenty of reasons why the affair was found out but the most common are (1) wrong send - this is when you send a right message to the wrong number; (2) wrong person - this is when you send right message to the right number but is read by the wrong person; and (3) non-erased message - this is when you keep a message in your inbox and is later read by the wrong person.

It is a saddening thought that the same technology that brought people together is the same people that brings them apart. Moral of the story? Nothing beats old fashioned interaction.